Leading with Empathy

20 years ago I entered the United States Air Force.  As the first person in my family to join the military, I had a very hard time adjusting to the unique culture of the military; primarily due to my background.  I was raised by a close-nit low-income family from the inner city of Chicago.  Ninety-eight percent of the people I interacted with were African-American.  Gang violence, mental instability, poverty, prostitution, homeless individuals and extreme drug addiction was something I saw daily during my transport to and from school.  At this point in my life, I had never left the city.  Upon entering my first duty location of Great Falls, Montana, to the dirt roads, elk, and deer, I was hit with an ultimate culture shock.The expectations for myself didn’t go as planned.  My first supervisor did not help the situation.  There was little to no communication between us.  We had a supervisor/subordinate relationship for approximately a year and a half and I don’t recall ever having a conversation outside of professional duties.  The only time we chatted was when I made a mistake, which was usually a one-way conversation.  There was no connection; this played a role in me performing below desired standards.  It wasn’t until my next supervisor that I understood the value of connection and leading with empathy.  During our first conversation, he invited me to have dinner with his family.  This was a great experience because it reminded me of my family back in Chicago.  We would often have lunch and just talk about life.  He would frequently ask me how I was doing and if I needed anything.  Little did I know at the time, my supervisor was building a personal connection with me.  This aided him in understanding why I struggled with adapting to the military.  Additionally, this aided him in understanding my goals, aspirations and channeled my efforts which helped me perform to the best of my ability.  This ultimately led to a trusting bond that played a major role in my career taking a turn for the positive.  To this day, he still checks up on me to see how I’m doing and these traits displayed furthered my development both personally and professionally.  Prime example of LEADING WITH EMPATHYEmpathy: “The ability to understand and share feelings of another.”Having the ability to connect with others is one of the most important traits a transformational leader can exude.  To improve the performance and effectiveness of an organization, transformational leaders have the desire to develop the capability to demonstrate empathy.  Some leaders have the personality to naturally exude empathy and have a distinct advantage over their peers who have difficulty displaying their empathy.  Empathy is not a fixed trait. If leaders prioritize the importance of connection, they can develop and enhance their empathy skills through coaching, training, developmental opportunities and initiatives.Ways to practice Leading with Empathy;

• LISTEN. No…really LISTEN to your subordinates to encourage dialogue
• Find and show humility. No one is perfect and subordinates need to see that you are not
• Be yourself. Be transparent about who you are as a person
• Develop a relationship away from work. Go to lunch or dinner with a goal of getting to know one another

Results of Empathetic Leadership:

• Displays the ability to create interpersonal relationships outside of the professional environment
• Relates the thoughts emotions or experiences of others during fruitful conversations, interpersonal bonds
• Helps establish a shared direction, connects diverse perspectives, backgrounds, values and cultures
• Shows subordinates that leaders care for their needs, creating a trusting bond
• Directly tied to output of an organization, when subordinates trust their leaders they tend to be more inspired to meet desired organizational objectives

Challenges of Empathetic leadership:

• Relationship building is very time consuming and can be overwhelming for leaders of large organizations
• Empathetic leaders tend to absorb the emotions of subordinates that could affect organizational decisions
• Empathetic leaders tend to be non-combative at times, discouraging debate and dialogue for organizational innovation

High performing organizations are challenged with creating the time needed to build interpersonal bonds.  It’s far less time consuming and easier for leaders to just direct their subordinates to get the job done at all cost.  Organizational Goals vs. Interpersonal Relationship building can be a difficult dilemma for leaders.  Despite them being tied to one another, there are times when they both can be displayed by leaders.  Understanding when and how to display empathetic leadership is an art that has no specific formula.Empathy is not the end all be all for successful leadership.  It’s just a small part of the recipe for transformational leaders to understand how to connect with their subordinates.  Most professional organizations are diverse like the military.  This is why it’s important for leaders to understand that each and every subordinate will have their own unique formula to being inspired to meet organizational goals.  Showing the ability to connect and encourage diversity of thought creates an environment that attracts the most talented people.  This is what attracted me to the military almost two decades ago and ultimately molded me into the person and leader I am today.  Do you have the desire to change someone’s life like my supervisor changed mine?  Our world needs more of it, subordinates deserve more of it, and society will be the primary beneficiary of it. Editor’s Note:Editor’s Note:  Ronnie Woods is a United States Air Force Chief Master Sergeant.  He has held several Air Force leadership positions in command and control battle management operations, human resources and law enforcement where he has positively influenced the lives of thousands of military and civilian employees.  He is currently the Chief Enlisted Manager at the 607th Air Control Squadron, Luke Air Force Base, Arizona.  Photo Cred: Copyright © 2018, by Action-Strategies-By-Design, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Everything DiSC is a registered trademark and The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team and PXT Select are trademarks of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. or its affiliated companies. |