Peer Followership
“Every true leader is a true follower. Every true follower is a true leader. You are followed because of the dreams you pursue; you pursue others because of the dreams they follow!” ~Israelmore Ayivor
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
Opening thought: “They put WHO in charge!?” “There is NO way that I am going to work for or with someone that is the same rank / pay scale as me!” Sound familiar? Good! Now, let’s talk about that.
Come on now, let’s be honest with each other here!
You and I both know that there are a LOT, maybe even an incalculable amount, of “leadership” articles, podcasts (I have even done a few myself!) books etc.; yet there are not nearly as many regarding the topic of followership. Why not? Well, in my humble opinion it is because our culture, our society, has glamorized leaders and their science and art we all know as leadership. It is not that we really need to glamorize it at all; and even further to make a point.
REAL leaders do not need to be glamorized; they will lead regardless. I believe that we have glamorized it in such a way that many of our youth believe it is “failure” if they do not want to lead. We have made following seem subpar and not culturally accepted. In this endeavor, we have inadvertently created a massive power vacuum and have promoted countless amounts of ill prepared, inexperienced, fake, and downright horrible leaders. Yes, they post all of their “leadership successes” on social media; however, we the audience (the pawns in their story) very seldom if ever, see how everything is caged just right to capture the perfect, self-elating, and “yay for me” picture.
Listen that is NOT leadership! Yes, there are some legitimate leaders out there, and they are doing GREAT things for those they lead and all of those around them; however, they will be just fine if we don’t talk about them. Let’s talk about the rest, the rest of the PEOPLE out here in the real world! Shall we talk about you? Yes, you. I know how you feel…
So, there you are thinking that you are the next best leader, and then WHAM! They, yup, those “they(s)” put one of your peers in charge! How could they not see your potential!? OK, I get it, this never has happened to you; So, I will talk about my story. You can sit back, relax and learn from “someone else’s” experience… When I came back to reality, after my brief visit in the afterlife, I was furious that I had been overlooked! No, wait! I had been outright miss-treated, stabbed right in the back, maybe even intentionally sabotaged. Actually, when I really thought about it, I was definitely, deliberately sabotaged! This was the heart of the “good ole boy” system. Now, that is how I felt. Sound familiar? Oh, sure it does!
Why do we automatically jump to conclusions like this? Why do we take it so personal? Well, for starters, we are NOT used to any real feedback in regard to our performance. As a society, we just do not give beneficial / constructive feedback. Basically, most of us grow up hearing that we are just the best at fill in the blank. However, we are not always the best. Sometimes, many times, others are better than us. There are also those times where you are the best, and it is some sort of sabotage. There are different ways to go about seeking and receiving retribution for those actions; however, between those actions and for the ones that were not qualified for the position, our actions should be the same. That, heroes is what I want to talk to you about, the time between now and then…
How should we respond as followers? Well, once you get off your “high horse” you will see that the particular individual (yes, that human being) in most cases had nothing to do with the actual decision. How would you want to be treated, by your followers, should you find yourself in that same position? Oh yeah, I just went there! … Back to my story then I guess… I have wanted, I want, and I would want to be treated with respect, to be trusted, and to be supported. My wife Amy had to remind me of this, when I found myself in this very situation. She also said, “Caleb, isn’t someone still technically following you too?” #WISEWOMAN She was absolutely right! There are always others watching us. What she was really saying, and I won’t be as gentle, was suck it up and get over yourself. You have a shining opportunity directly in front of you. Be thankful that you have been granted with such a blessing!
You have the opportunity to be the example. You may say, “I don’t want this opportunity”; and I say to that, you are not ready to lead then. I am not trying to be mean, I just want you to hear the truth. Leaders are humble servants to those they lead; and additionally, good followers are also humble servants to those around them. Ouch? Well, back to my story then… I chose to listen to my wife (which is ALWAYS productive) and looked to truly serve those around me, to include the one that was leading us. He did not make the choice, nor was he deliberately trying to sabotage me. Now, even though he gave me plenty of opportunities to work on my patience, 😉😉 I took every opportunity to try and help him be successful.
I understood that it is also not easy “leading your peers” and I knew the more I supported him, the higher the probability was of me being able to influence him for the greater good of the entire team and our mission. I also tried to see what I could learn from him. Yes, this experience was not my first choice; however, I understood that I could learn from the experience. After all, it was him calling the shots and I could learn what worked and what did not. Was this easy? Well, no; however, I never advertised it that way. Following will cause you to store/burry your pride and focus on someone other than yourself, which is not easy for most. Can I let you in on a little secret though? If that is not easy for you and you do not get that fixed, then you will most likely struggle a LOT at real leadership. You had better get comfortable with humility right now, and there is probably not a better way to work on humility, than to follow in a supporting role! I would like to help you out with something. Focus helps me, and I want to share five (5) things that I believe will help you on your followership journey.
This list is NOT all inclusive, but it should get you started on and keep you on the right track.
1. Acknowledge that you may not actually be the best, or even as good as you think you are
2. Look to learn from the experience
3. Acknowledge that successful followers & leaders all exhibit the same attributes and character traits (notice the placement of the terms themselves?) and if you are following right, it won’t be long before someone notices your leadership potential
4. Don’t make this about you; seriously, don’t do that because you will absolutely miss the point, your opportunity to serve others and your ability to grow as a human
5. Look for ways to support the leader and those around you and always live with an attitude of gratitude
Let’s Get It!
Editor’s Note: Caleb Vaden is an Air Force Senior Leader, the founder of the Legendary Leader’s FaceBook Group and the host of the Real Talk with Caleb podcast.