One or Two Will Do!
By Robert W. Rogers, AKA ‘The Paperback Mentor’
I think we can all agree that constructive feedback is critical to our growth, but what happens when you receive too much at once? I know for me it can feel a bit overwhelming and disheartening. When someone presents me with a “constructive” feedback laundry list, I sometimes receive it as a list of things I suck at! Then in the wake of our interaction, I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed and either take their feedback personally or feel confused on where to start. What’s my biggest flaw and is there something I should be working on first?
As a leader, neither of these situations is how I want to leave an interaction. This result is unlikely to achieve the intent of my efforts and by creating a sense of frustration or making a person feel overwhelmed, I may cause them shut down during future engagements. So how can I approach this task in a better way? By providing only one or two areas of suggested improvement at a time.
When you only give one or two pieces of feedback at a time, the person receiving it tends to feel less beaten up by the interaction. Additionally, they won’t see your inputs as an insurmountable list of weaknesses but will hopefully envision a manageable goal to work towards. Only giving one or two pieces of feedback during an interaction can also help you keep a focus on the positive side of things. Compliments for things they did well and speaking words of encouragement over them will stick more if they aren’t left feeling hammered by your conversation. Remember, too much criticism at once can steal the intent for your guidance.
If you find you have a list of areas you would like your subordinate to work on, keep it for yourself. Once they succeed at fixing one item, slowly introduce another. However, don’t always have something in the chamber ready to unload once they complete a step in the right direction. Give feedback at a leisurely pace and recognize that you may not be able to address everything you want to in the time you have with them. You need to be ok with that! If you do part ways with your subordinate sooner than you would have liked, you want them to remember your time together fondly. It is better to say good-bye with them feeling supported than to get in all your criticisms and leave them feeling discontent.
Editor’s Note: Robert W. Rogers is the author of The Paperback Mentor, an Air Force Reserve Chief Master Sergeant and disabled Air Force veteran currently living in Colorado Springs, CO.